Relationship Skills – Grade 7 – Lesson 1
Objectives:
- Students will demonstrate the ability to respond effectively to annoying behaviors by practicing constructive communication techniques, including clearly identifying the behavior that bothers them and expressing their desired outcome in a respectful manner.
- Students will analyze various scenarios involving annoying behaviors and apply problem-solving skills to devise positive and assertive responses, fostering better conflict resolution and interpersonal relationships in both academic and personal settings.
Introduction:
Developing the ability to provide constructive feedback when someone’s behavior is irritating is a crucial skill that applies to various aspects of life, such as personal, academic, and career settings. Responding effectively to pestering behavior involves understanding one’s emotions, regulating responses, and communicating assertively while respecting others’ dignity.
Setting the stage
Identifying Annoying Behaviors
Begin by writing “Behaviors That Bug Me” on the board. Without mentioning names, encourage students to share some things that classmates do that annoy or bother them at school.
Discuss different emotions students may experience when someone bugs them.
- Feeling afraid to speak up
- Worried about others’ reactions
- Angry, or unsure of how to respond
Reflect on personal feelings students have experienced when faced with annoying behaviors and explore other potential thoughts and emotions they might have in those situations.
Present a list of possible reactions to annoying behaviors and discuss the potential consequences of each approach.
When someone bugs me, I usually do the following:
- Yell at them to stop bothering me.
- Act as if everything is okay.
- Tell my friends what I don’t like about the person who made me mad.
- Ignore the person and act rude.
- Make a joke about it and hope the person gets the hint.
Activity 1: Responding Positively to Annoying Behaviors
Introduce the concept of “Attacking the Problem” instead of attacking the person. Explain that addressing the issue directly can lead to better solutions and healthier relationships.
Name the specific behavior that is bothering them and then state what they would like the person to do differently or stop doing. Emphasize the importance of clear and respectful communication.
- Name the behavior that is bothering you.
- One way to begin solving the problem is to let the person know exactly what they are doing that annoys you. This is called “attacking the problem”, rather than attacking the person with unkind or disrespectful words.
- Say what you want to happen instead.
- What would you like the other person to do or stop doing? Is there something you would both do together that would solve the problem?
There is not a right order to respond to behaviors that bother you, the important thing to remember is to include both parts – name the behavior and state what you want to happen.
Practice Scenarios
Practice scenarios where students respond to annoying behaviors using constructive and positive approaches. After reading each situation, have students indicate with a thumbs up or down whether the reaction will help or worsen the situation.
Scenario 1: Someone borrows your pencil without asking.
- Positive Response: “When you borrow my pencil without asking, I can’t find it, and it disrupts my work. Next time, please ask before borrowing anything from me.”
Scenario 2: Someone says your idea is dumb.
- Negative Response: “Well, I don’t like your idea either. I don’t even like you.”
- Positive Response: “I value my ideas, but we can have different opinions. Let’s discuss our ideas and find a way to work together.”
Scenario 3: Someone keeps telling you what to do.
- Negative Response: “Who do you think you are? I can do this myself without your help. Why don’t you just shut up?”
- Positive Response: “I appreciate your willingness to help, but I would like to try figuring it out on my own. I’ll ask for assistance if needed.”
Scenario 4: Someone borrowed your new colored pencils for art class several days ago and has not returned them yet.
- Negative Response: “You always take my things and never return them. Just give them back already!”
- Positive Response: “I need my colored pencils for my art project. Could you please return them when you’re done using them? It would help me a lot.”
Tying it together:
- Revisit the list of annoying behaviors generated at the beginning of the lesson.
- Have students choose a couple of behaviors from the list and brainstorm positive responses tailored to their specific situations.
Activity Conclusion:
By practicing positive ways to address annoying behaviors, students will develop essential skills for effective communication, conflict resolution, and building healthier relationships with their peers. Remember, addressing the problem, not the person, is the key to resolving conflicts and fostering a positive classroom environment.
Activity 2: Effective Communication Practice
In this activity, students will practice communicating effectively with a partner about annoying behaviors and exchange scenarios with other student pairs to reinforce positive responses.
Display the following guidelines on the board for students to reference:
- Name the behavior that is bothering you.
- Express what you would like to happen instead.
Practice scenarios:
Divide students into pairs and provide each pair with practice scenarios. Partners will take turns reading the scenarios and deciding who will respond first. They will then respond to the scenarios using effective communication techniques.
After practicing, have the student pairs exchange scenarios with another pair to encourage a broader range of responses.
- Scenario: A person in your group keeps poking you with a pencil and laughing when you get upset. What can you say?
- Scenario: A girl in your group says she doesn’t care what you draw for your portion of the assignment. When the rest of you agree on a topic, she gets mad. What can you say to her?
- Scenario: You and a classmate are using markers to complete an assignment. Your classmate keeps writing on you with the markers. What can you say?
- Scenario: It’s your turn to answer a question, but someone else shouts out the answer. What can you say?
- Scenario: Every time you have a good idea, someone in your group says it is no good and suggests something else. What can you say to this person?
- Scenario: You just saw someone whispering to another classmate and looking at you. They were both laughing. What can you say to them?
After a few rounds of exchanging scenarios, ask for a couple volunteers to read their scenario and effective response aloud to the group.
Closing:
- Ask students whether they found it easy or difficult to practice responding in effective ways.
- Facilitate a class discussion on how the lesson will help them get along better as they work and do activities together. Encourage students to share their insights.
- Have students pair up with a neighbor and discuss what they plan to do the next time someone bugs them, incorporating the effective communication strategies they learned in the lesson.
Conclusion:
By practicing effective communication strategies, students are better equipped to handle annoying behaviors and conflicts constructively. These skills will foster a more harmonious and supportive classroom environment, promoting positive interactions among classmates.