Relationship Skills – Grade 6 – Lesson 2
- Students will identify conflict escalation triggers and describe how conflicts intensify step by step.
- Students will demonstrate emotional regulation skills during conflicts to prevent escalation and promote empathetic communication.
- Students will analyze conflict scenarios, evaluate de-escalation strategies, and propose effective resolutions to maintain positive relationships.
- Students will actively engage in group discussions, practice active listening, and role-play conflict resolution scenarios to develop effective communication and problem-solving skills.
Introduction:
In this lesson, we explore how conflicts can escalate and learn strategies to identify conflict triggers and de-escalate tense situations. Like stairs on an escalator there are incremental steps of escalation, which, when engaged with can bring us to the top where conflict is fully embraced or moving down and away from conflict. Our brain’s response to stress can sometimes lead us to act irrationally, making it challenging to resolve conflicts effectively. However, by understanding the steps of escalation, we can work towards resolving conflicts without causing harm to one another.
The primary objective of learning about conflict escalation and de-escalation is to enable us to resolve conflicts without causing harm. Through engaging in this activity, students have a safe opportunity to practice these skills, cultivating emotional regulation abilities that will be beneficial during real-life conflicts, and fostering growth in their relationship skills.
Activity 1: Communication Breakdown
Divide the students into small groups and ask for volunteers to participate in an interactive activity. Provide each group with a written situation (without discussing it aloud). One student starts by acting out the situation without speaking, and the next student observes and then demonstrates the same scenario to the following student through non-verbal actions. This continues down the line.
Watch the following video for a demonstration of the activity.
After the activity, discuss the following questions as a class:
- Where did the communication break down during the activity?
- What can happen when we misinterpret what someone says or does during conflicts?
- How can we ensure that we receive the correct message during disagreements?
Setting the stage
Recall a recent or past conflict or disagreement experienced by the students, a friend, or a family member. Ask for volunteers to share their experiences with the class.
Conflicts can sometimes feel like an “escalator,” with various levels of tension, pushing us either toward full-blown conflict or away from it, where we can think rationally and solve problems calmly. It is essential to recognize conflict escalation triggers to prevent situations from worsening.
Identifying Conflict Escalation Triggers:
In small groups, have students discuss and list down possible triggers that can escalate conflicts. Encourage them to think about emotional reactions, impulsive behaviors, and harmful responses that contribute to conflict escalation.
Ask each group to share their lists with the class, and compile a master list on the board.
Discussion: Go through the compiled list and discuss each trigger’s potential impact on conflict escalation. Emphasize the importance of emotional regulation and keeping the rational thinking brain engaged during conflicts.
Here are a couple of emotional regulation strategies that students can use:
- Deep Breathing: Taking deep breaths can help calm the nervous system and reduce emotional intensity. Encourage students to practice deep breathing exercises, such as inhaling deeply for a count of four, holding the breath for a count of four, and exhaling slowly for a count of four. This simple technique can help them feel more centered and in control of their emotions.
- Positive Self-talk: Teach students to replace negative or unhelpful thoughts with positive and constructive ones. When faced with a challenging situation or conflict, they can remind themselves of positive affirmations or encouraging statements. For example, “I can handle this calmly,” or “I will find a solution to this problem.” Positive self-talk can counteract anxious or angry feelings and promote a more composed response.
Remember, practicing these strategies regularly is key to making them effective. Encourage students to incorporate them into their daily routines so that they become natural coping mechanisms when faced with emotional challenges.
Activity 2: Understanding the Conflict Escalator
In this activity, we analyze a conflict and explore how it can escalate step by step. We will use the concept of an “escalator” to represent the increasing intensity of conflicts. By understanding the escalation process, we can learn to prevent conflicts from reaching harmful levels and resolve them more effectively.
Write the definition of “escalate” on the board: “to become or cause to become more intense or serious.”
Ask students to describe an escalator and draw a rough version of an escalator or set of stairs on the board. Label the bottom stair as “you’re just a little upset” and the top stair as “you’re very angry.”
Conflict escalation typically occurs incrementally, with each step intensifying the situation. It often starts with someone saying or doing something that causes a slight upset. In response, the other person may react out of their own heightened emotions, further exacerbating the conflict. If left unchecked, this cycle can quickly lead to both parties feeling very angry and emotionally charged. However, understanding this process can help us prevent conflicts from getting out of hand.
The Backpack Conflict:
Read aloud or have two students act out the “Backpack Conflict” scenario.
While Danielle was getting her snack out of the coat closet, her backpack accidentally fell and clunked Giorgio on the head. “Ow!” said Giorgio, rubbing his head. “You should be careful, stupid.”
Danielle felt bad about hitting Giorgio, but she didn’t like being called stupid. It was an accident! “Don’t be such a baby. You shouldn’t get in the way,” said Danielle.
Giorgio felt himself getting really angry. As Danielle bent over to pick up her backpack, Giorgio kicked it into the classroom.
Mr. Avazian, their teacher, came back to the coat closet. “What’s all this shouting about?” he asked. Danielle and Giorgio pointed at each other. “He/she started it!” they both said.
Analyzing the Conflict Escalation:
Divide the students into groups and provide them with copies of the script, scissors, blank paper, and glue. Instruct the groups to draw an escalator with four steps on the blank paper. As they read the story again, students will place the appropriate statements from the “Backpack Conflict” handout on the escalator, identifying each step where the conflict escalated.
Group discussion:
Bring the groups back together and discuss the placement of the escalating steps to ensure understanding.
- What was the first thing that happened in this conflict?
- What did you place at the top of your escalator?
- What things did the students do that made this conflict worse?
- What could the characters in the role-play have done differently to prevent the conflict from escalating?
- How do you imagine they solved their problem?
Identifying Conflict Escalation Triggers:
As a group, explore the general things we do or say that might escalate a conflict. Create a chart with their answers, including examples such as insults, name-calling, blaming, using statements like “You always” or “You never,” bringing up past issues, and physical confrontation.
De-escalation Strategies:
Now, shift the focus on strategies to de-escalate conflicts and prevent them from reaching harmful levels. In pairs or small groups, have students come up with possible de-escalation techniques and write them down.
Ask each group to present their strategies to the class, and discuss the feasibility and effectiveness of each approach.
Understanding the conflict escalator can help us become more mindful of our actions and words during conflicts. By recognizing the signs of escalation, we can intervene early and employ strategies to de-escalate conflicts, leading to healthier relationships and better resolutions.
Closing:
- What are some signs we can see in others to know if a conflict might be escalating?
- What are some signs we can see in ourselves?
- What are some signs we can see that conflict is de-escalating in others?”
Conclusion:
Conflict resolution is a valuable skill that can improve our relationships and overall well-being. By understanding conflict escalation triggers and practicing de-escalation strategies, we can promote a more harmonious and empathetic environment. Remember, keeping our emotions in check and engaging our rational thinking during conflicts can lead to better resolutions and stronger relationships with others.
Mindful Awareness Exercise:
After discussing a topic such as conflict, it is helpful to set aside time to take a few deep breaths or use a relaxation technique as intense feelings can arise. Try the following:
Lesson adapted from: Operation Respect