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Teaching SEL

Social Emotional Learning Lessons for Teachers and Counselors

  • Social and Emotional Learning
    • Social Decision Making and Problem Solving
    • Elementary SEL Lessons
    • Middle School SEL Lessons
    • Self Awareness
    • Self Management
    • Social Awareness
    • Relationship Skills
    • Responsible Decision-Making
    • The Power of Gratitude
    • Enhancing Social-Emotional Learning
  • The Mindset Advantage
    • Embracing the Mindset of a Jedi
    • Expanding Your Vision: Embracing New Perspectives
    • What’s Your Mindset?
    • Mindset and Learning Strategies in the Classroom
  • Mindfulness
    • Igniting the Power of Mindfulness in Elementary Classrooms
    • Breathwork: Enhance Your Well-Being
    • Exploring the Depths of Self-Awareness: Navigating Mindfulness Across States of Mind
    • Rewiring Your Brain through Neuroplasticity
    • Two Wolves: The Power of Awareness and Consequences
    • Recognizing the Power of Connection: Building Stronger Relationships
  • Character Development
    • Overcoming Challenges and Completing Tasks
    • Embracing Diversity
    • Self Control
    • The Ripple Effect of Kindness
    • The Transformative Power of Gratitude
  • Neuroscience
    • The Role of Emotions in Learning
    • Neuroplasticity Unveiled: Harnessing the Power of Your Brain
    • Understanding ADHD
    • The Growth Potential of Mistakes
  • About Neal

Recognizing the Power of Connection: Building Stronger Relationships

In every relationship, our individual actions have a profound impact on others and the overall dynamic. The concept of reciprocity reminds us that what we do affects others, and in turn, their actions affect us. As the saying goes, “what goes around comes around.”

Given this interconnectedness, it becomes essential to treat others with kindness, love, and respect. When we extend negativity or mistreatment, we are likely to receive the same in return. Understanding this principle encourages us to foster healthy relationships and prioritize compassionate interactions.

During conflicts, emotional arousal can cloud our judgment and hinder our ability to think clearly. Lacking awareness in such situations increases the likelihood of saying or doing things that are uncharacteristic or harmful. Learning to regulate our emotional arousal during conflicts helps us work toward our relationship goals.

Consider this scenario:

What if at that moment [seconds before you snapped at your partner/friend/parent, etc.], you were truly aware that this is a person you love and who loves you, and that how you treat them would go a long way toward determining whether you get what you want in your relationship? Would it have been so easy to say the nasty thing?

– Alan E. Fruzzetti, The High-Conflict Couple

To put this into practice, engage in the following exercises:

  • Notice how your tone of voice impacts the tone of voice of the person you are conversing with.
  • Experiment with changing your tone of voice and observe how it influences the other person’s response. It may take a few attempts to witness the desired change.
  • Pay attention to how your mood affects those around you and how others’ moods affect you.
  • Before speaking to a friend, partner, parent, or teacher, ask yourself whether your words will improve or worsen the situation. Practice this introspection regularly.

In closing, remember that you and the people around you are in the same boat. In relationships, you either sail together or sink together. Embrace the profound connections you share with others. By attending to their needs, you also tend to your own.


Adapted from:

The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation

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